Monday, April 24, 2006

Dear Friend

I like to start my notes to you as if we are already in the middle of a conversation. I pretend we are the oldest and dearest friends, as opposed to what we actually are...people who dont know each others names. What will you say today I wonder. I turn on my computer, I wait impatiently as it boots up. I go online, and my breath catches in my chest until I hear three little words: Youve Got Mail. I hear nothing. Not a sound on the busy streets just the beet of my own heart. I have mail. From you.

He's Not A Rebel To Me!

He brings to light my faults, but in a good way.

He makes me be more honest.

He makes me happy.

He buys his way into my heart unintentionally.

The problem is, I cant do this. I couldnt even if he wanted to. I told Jimmy I couldnt date him because he couldnt take me to the temple. Why should I make an exception for someone else? My thoughts and feelings are confused. And because Im a girl I nitpick at details and cant help but wonder....

Does he really like me too, but know that getting together would only end badly because Is he denying it to protect me?

He's A Rebel by The Crystals

See the way he walks down the street
Watch the way he shuffles his feet
My, he holds his head up high
When he goes walking by
He's my guy

When he holds my hand I'm so proud
'Cause he's not just one of the crowd
My baby's always the one
To try the things they've never done
Just because of that they say

He's a rebel and he'll never ever be any good
He's a rebel cause he never ever does what he should
Just because he doesn't do what everybody else does
That's no reason why I can't give him all my love
He is always good to me, always treats me tenderly
'Cause he's not a rebel, no no no
He's not a rebel, no no no, to me


If they don't like him that way, they won't like me I'm sure today
I'll be standing right by his side, when they say

He's a rebel and he'll never ever be any good
He's a rebel 'cause he never ever does what he should
Just because he doesn't do what everybody else does
That's no reason we can't share our love
He is always good to me, good to him I'll try to be
'Cause he's not a rebel, no no no
He's not a rebel, no no no, to me
(He's not a rebel, no no no
He's not a rebel, no no no
He's not a rebel, no no no
He's not a rebel, no no no)

Sunday, April 23, 2006

Cousins Causing Clarity

So, my cousin, Julia, is an actress and a lot of the time I can relate to her. Even if I dont know her that well. She recently posted a blog about her weaknesses where men are concerned and how most of it came from a love of Danny Kaye at a young age.

I feel compelled to do the same. My sister Shannon and I have had a love for Frank Sinatra since we were young and I believe that subconsciously it has effected what I want in a guy. I dont know about Shannon... I didnt actually realize all the similarities until I read Julias blog.

Two things I want you to realize... First, just because they are listed as a weakness doesnt mean that I dont like...blondes for instance. Second, not all of them are based on Frank, but most of them are.

My Weaknesses:
Preferrably brown hair
Preferrably blue eyes
Skinny...Not big on the whole muscles thing.
Amazing with kids! This one, surprisingly enough, was based on Sinatra. He would do almost anything for his kids! He took time out of a tour he was on to talk on the phone for about an hour to help Nancy, his daughter, decide if she should cut her hair.
Passionate about SOMETHING.
Sweet talkin...
A love and appreciation for old movies and singers
Accents...My two favorite are New York Ganster Slang like Sinatra, and English like Hugh Grant.

Well, thats all I can think of for now...

Friday, April 21, 2006

"There's just enough merit between them to make one good sort of person!"

Ive learned a lot from Amir. I have learned that Im not doing as good as I could be. Most of what I learn from him I learn from example. He always has his scriptures backstage. He knows them like he knows my face. An odd and new saying I know, but its true when you think about it. He always has advice for me. He never has to think about it. He is always happy. He may not always be loud and laughing, but he is always happy.

Ive learned a lot by talking to him in the short time I did. He knows and understands more than he gets credit for. He loves everyone and everything. Almost. He knows things are wrong with him, and he accepts that he has faults and one by one tries to conquer them. He is humble though. He knows he cannot accomplish that without the Lords help so he always asks for it. He knows that God knows him better than he knows himself and he submits himself to Daddy rather willingly.

Mikey is honest. I want to be better because of him. Ive only ever felt that way around one other person. Boy. Boy makes me feel that way more than Mikey, but still. Mikey almost never lies. I have no reason to not believe whatever he tells me. He doesnt care about himself as much as he cares for others. He doesnt let me get away with having the same faults he has. If he swears its fine, but I should use better language. If he doesnt eat its fine, but I have to eat all the time. Healthy food too! He genuinly cares!

Thursday, April 13, 2006

Fault Lines

I never write important stuff down.

I am constantly assuming.

I am naive.

I dont ask for help.

Im easily offended.

I think Im better than I actually am.

Id rather play than work, so what should be important to me...never is.

Ive made myself repulsive to boys on purpose, but unknowingly.

I act in haste.

I lie. A LOT.

I gossip.

I dont tell the person I have a problem with that I have a problem with them. I tell just about everyone else though...

Im selfish.

I pout when I know Im wrong and others are right.

I dont take critisism with grace.

I...take it personally.

Im irresponsible.

Im forgetful.

Im ronchy.

Im wretched.

Im loud and obnoxious.

I cant sing, act or do tech. But, I tell people I can. (I guess that coulda gone under lying...oh well.)

Thats enough. I dont want to give away too many of my faults just yet. People may never speak to me again.

Wednesday, April 12, 2006


Were you ever in a situation where everything was just...perfect?

Yesterday I layed down in the grass under a nice tree to wait for my mom. Everything was perfect!

My outfit was comfortable

Mike came and talked to me

The temperature was perfect

The breeze was light

And as I layed there with my eyes closed, the sun beat down on my cheek. But, not harshly. It felt warm and soothing. My first thought was if felt like a dozen kisses on the cheek. Then a light breeze swept over my face again and blew through my hair, and as it did I thought it felt like fingers running through my hair.

I knew everything would be fine. Daddy was reassuring me. Kissing me lightly on the cheek and stroking my hair as parents do.

And as I lay there with these perfect feelings of comfort, a song popped into my head. The Summer Song by Chad and Jeremy. That is why its my new profile song.