Thursday, November 17, 2005

I Steal From Brittany And Jenesse...

The Facts From A to Z

A is for Age - 18
B is for Booze - Are you kidding me?
C is for Career - Currently I am a bagger at Reams. That probably doesnt qualify as a career though, so I would have to say I havent started to get one yet. I start school in January and will become a high school drama teacher...and/or actor
D is for Dad’s name - Michael
E is for Essential items to bring to a party - My whole purse. Its full of said "essential items"...
F is for Favorite song at the moment - It will always be ALL THE WAY by Frank Sinatra... But there are others that are right up there. Like Mockingbird by Eminem and Where are you by J. Roman and N. Soluna
G is for Goof off thing to do - Dancing in the aisles with the Brian! We serenaded each other today at work...It was grand!
H is for Hometown - Like birthplace or like where you spent the bigger portion of your life? Birthplace: Delano, CA.... Bigger Portion of my life place: Orem, UT
I is for Instrument you play - Bongo Drums. But in the future I WILL play the sax... ALL of them!
J is for Jam or Jelly you like - Grape or Strawberry Jelly! Mmmm! I love jelly!
K is for Kids - None yet. But hopefully I will find someone and get married soon. I guess it cant be too soon unless its before Court leaves on his mission. Otherwise I will have to wait until he comes home...
L is for Living arrangement - Parents... Enough said...
M is for Mom’s name - Sylvia
N is for Name of best friend - Court and Tammy. Right now. It could change I suppose...
O is for Overnight Stay in a Hospital - Never. Ive never broken a bone or needed stitches or been sick enough to need hospital care...
P is for Phobias - Spiders!!! Get them away from me!!!
Q is for Quote you like - Hard to say... I quote movies, books and songs all day long. I guess I will stick with this one... "Happiness isnt happiness without a violin playing goat!" -Hugh Grant, Notting Hill
R is for Relationship that lasted the longest - About a month. If you count it. I dont count either of mine. But the longest one, if we were counting both, would be about a month.
S is for Siblings - Two brothers, Four sisters, Two prospective brothers in law and one future husband...wait...you werent asking for that, were you...?
T is for Texas, ever been? - Never.
U is for Unique traits - I dance in the aisles! What more do you need?
V is for Vegetable you love - Carrots...I like them, but not love. I dont love vegetables...
W is for Worst traits - My laugh, my temper, my posture, my...pretty much, you name it and Ive got that sucky little trait...
X- is for X-rays you’ve had - The ones at the dentist...does that count?
Y is for Yummy food you make - I make some pretty darn creative desserts, if I do say so myself!
Z is for Zodiac sign - Libra

"Long Time No Speaky!"

11/15/05

"I love you"

"I love you more!"

Monday, November 14, 2005

Nothing Is Harder Than Saying Goodbye To Someone You Love

Maybe there are some things harder, but not for me. Not right now.

Ive never really been liked by a guy, that I know of, except for Aaron Furr. I didnt take advantage of the moment I had with him and I lost it. My loss.

Ironically enough, the next guy, on the record, that liked me also was named Aaron. Aaron Young.

Some of you may have heard me refer to him as Jimmy. Hes the friend of a friend of Marios. He has been telling me all week that I am beautiful, that I have a gorgeous voice, that Im an angel and finally that he likes me.

He doesnt really know me. I dont really know him. But I started to like him too.

BAD!!!

Hes not that great of a person. I mean hes ok but hes not mormon. After talking to some really great people and getting some truly brilliant advice I finally told Jimmy yesterday that I liked him too but nothing could happen between us because I am getting married in the temple. Not might, will. I will get married in the temple.

While Ive never had the feeling of tragedy and guilt that comes with having to reject someone you dont like, I can honestly say that I have had the pain and true hurt that comes with rejecting someone you do like.

I didnt cry after I told him. I felt relieved. I cried later though.

He told me he respects my decision and feels badly that he isnt worthy of me. I told him not to think of it that way. Hes been so mopey about it like he just might die. He has no idea how hard it was for me to tell him that.

He has NO idea...

Saturday, November 12, 2005

Whoa! What The???

The Blog Archives and Hidden Meanings game.

The criteria:
~Delve into your blog archive.
~Find your 23rd post (or closest to).
~Find the fifth sentence (or closest to).
~Post the text of the sentence in your blog along with these instructions.
~Ponder it for meaning, subtext or hidden agendas...

Ok...Im confused...

Mine said... "Jasons Hair" and thats it. That post was called "Why Im Currently In A State Of Great Rejoicing" and then it was just a list. The fifth thing on the list was "Jasons Hair".

Enlightenment? Please?

Does He Even Realize Im Here?

Where are you?
by Justin Roman and Natalie Soluna


[Justin]
(I know you are out there baby...somewhere)
There is someone out there for me (I know there is somebody out there)
I know she is waiting so patiently (yeah) can you tell me her name? (Somebody tell me her name)
This life-long search is gonna drive me insane
How does she laugh? How does she cry? What's the color of her eyes?
Does she even realize I'm here?
Where is she? Where is she? Where is she? Where is this beautiful girl?
Who is she? Who is she? Who is gonna complete my world?
Where is she? Where is she? Where is this beautiful girl?
Who is she? Who is she? Who is gonna complete my world?
dadadadadada dadadada dadadadadada (where are you?)

[Natalie]
I'm staring out at the sky (I see you baby)
Praying that he will walk in my life
Where is the man of my dreams (right here) yea-yeah
I'll wait forever, how silly it seems
How does he laugh? How does he cry? What's the color of his eyes?
Does he even realize I'm here?
Where is he? Where is he? Where is he? Where is this beautiful guy?
Who is he? Who is he? Who is gonna take me so high?
Where is he? Where is he? Where is this beautiful guy?
Who is he? Who is he? Who is gonna take me so high?
dadadadadada dadadada dadadadadada (where are you?)

[Justin]
There is someone out there for me (there is someone out there for me)
I know she is waiting so patiently (so patient)
Can you tell me her name (can you tell me his name)
This life-long search is gonna drive me insane (that's right)

[Natalie]
How does he laugh? How does he cry? What is the color of his eyes?
Does he even realize I'm here?

[Justin]
Where is she? Where is she? Where is she? Where is this beautiful girl?
Who is she? Who is she? Who is gonna complete my world?

[Natalie]
Where is he? Where is he? Where is he? Where is this beautiful guy?
Who is he? Who is he? Who is gonna take me so high?

[Together]
dadadadadada dadadada (yeah) dadadadadada (I know you out there)
dadadadadada dadadada (yeah) dadadadadada

[Justin Talking]
Where are you?? I'm going to look all over the world baby
'Cuz I know you are out there
I know this might sound crazy, but I think I love you
dadadadadada (that's right) dadadada dadadadadada
dadadadadada dadadada (yeah) dadadadadada

Where are you??

Thursday, November 10, 2005

Holy....Mother!

Directions:
1. Copy and post this in your blog
2. Bold anything that is true
3. Leave plain anything that is untrue
4. Add a statement of your own, true or not!

My bold isnt working. So I just put ME to the side...

01. I miss somebody right now. ME
02. I watch more tv than I used to.
03. I love olives. ME
04. I LOVE Sleeping. ME
05. I own lots of books.
06. I wear glasses or contact lenses.
07. I love to play video games.
08. I've tried marijuana.
09. I've watched a porn movie.
10. I have been in a threesome.
11. I have been the psycho-ex in a past relationship.
12. I believe honesty is usually the best policy.
13. I have acne free skin.
14. I like and respect Al Sharpton.
15. I curse frequently.
16. I have changed a lot mentally over the last year. ME
17. I have a hobby.
18. I've been told I have a nice butt.
19. I carry my knife/razor everywhere with me.
20. I'm really, really smart. I'm not a genius, just smart.
21. I've never broken someone else's bones. ME
22. I have a secret that I am ashamed to reveal. ME
23. I love rain. ME
24. I'm paranoid at all times. ME
25. I would get plastic surgery if it were 100% safe, free of cost, and scar free.
26. I need money right now. ME
27. I love sushi.
28. I talk really, really fast.
29. I have fresh breath in the morning.
30. I have semi-long hair.
31. I have lost money in Las Vegas.
32. I have at least one brother and/or one sister. ME
33. I was born in a country outside of the U.S.
34. I shave my legs. ME
35. I have a twin. ME
36. I drink coffee everyday.
37. I couldn't survive without caller I.D.
38. I like the way that I look. ME
39. I have lied to a good friend in the past 6 months. ME
40. I know how to do cornrows.
41. I am usually pessimistic. ME
42. I have mood swings. ME
43. I think prostitution should be legalized.
44. I think Britney Spears is pretty.
45. I have cheated on a significant other.
46. I have a hidden talent.
47. I'm always hyper no matter how much sugar I have. ME???
48. I think that I'm popular.
49. I am currently single. ME
50. I have kissed someone of the same sex.
51. I enjoy talking on the phone. ME
52. I practically live in sweatpants or PJ pants.
53. I love to shop.
54. I would rather shop than eat.
55. I would classify myself as ghetto.
56. I'm bourgie and have worn a sweater tied around my shoulders.
57. I'm obsessed with my blog. ME
58. I don't hate anyone.
59. I'm a pretty good dancer. ME
60. I don't think Mike Tyson raped Desiree Washington.
61. I'm completely embarrassed to be seen with my mother.
62. I have a cell phone. ME
63. I watch MTV on a daily basis.
64. I wish I were someone else.
65. I have passed out drunk in the past 6 months.
66. I work too much.
67. I have never been in a real relationship before. ME
68. I've rejected someone before.
69. I've graduated college.
70. I have no idea what I want to do for the rest of my life.
71. I want to have children in the future. ME
72. I have changed a diaper before. ME
73. I have had the cops called on me before.
74. I bite my nails sometimes. ME!!!
75. I am a member of the Tom Green fan club.
76. I'm not allergic to anything deadly. ME
77. I have a lot to learn. ME
78. I have dated someone at least 10 years older or younger.
79. I plan on seeing Ice Cube's newest "Friday" movie.
80. I am very shy around the opposite sex.
81. I'm online 24/7.
82. I have at least 5 away messages saved. ME
83. I have tried alcohol before.
84. I have made a move on a friend's significant other in the past.
85. I own the "South Park" movie.
86. I have avoided assignments at work/school to be online.
87. When I was a kid I played "the birds and the bees" with a neighbor or chum.
88. I enjoy country music. ME
89. I've never gotten a ticket.
90. I think that Pizza Hut has the best pizza.
91. I watch soap operas whenever I can.
92. I'm obsessive, anal retentive, or often a perfectionist.
93. I have used my sexuality to advance my career.
94. I love Michael Jackson, scandals and all.
95. I know all the words to Slick Rick's "Children's Story".
96. Halloween is awesome because you get free candy. ME
97. I watch Spongebob Squarepants and I like it.
98. I have dated a close friend's ex.
99. I'm happy as of this moment. ME
100. I have gone scuba diving.
101. Had a crush on somebody you've never met.
102. Kissed someone you knew you shouldn't.
103. I play a musical instrument.
104. I strongly dislike math. ME
105. I'm procrastinating something right now. ME
106. I own and use a library card. ME
107. I fall in 'lust' more than in 'love.'
108. Cheese enchiladas rock my socks.
109. I think The Lord of the Rings is one of the greatest things ever.
110. I'm obsessed with the TV show "Lost."
111. I think Beyblades is the coolest show in coolsville.
112. There are more things I could be better at, if only I tried harder. ME
113. Sometimes I don't like food.
114. I worry sometimes that I'm not being the best friend I could be to the people I care about.
115. I desperately want people to respect me, but it rarely happens. ME
116. I have never been able to say anything positive about myself and truly believe it.
117. I am bisexual.
118. I think Scottish accents are very attractive.
119. I'm very neurotic and suffer from acute paranoia.
120. I speak another language besides English.
121. I joke about eating.
122. I'm most likely to spend money on music.
123. I have used the sentence "That's hardcore" in the past twenty-four hours.
124. People hate my laugh. ME
125. My number gets passed around to strange men. ME

Sunday, November 06, 2005

Whats The Point?

Meaningless work...

Meaningless conversations...

Meaningless...ness...

What does it all add up to?

Why do I even bother?

Thursday, November 03, 2005

It All Comes Back To Me In The End

Fruit Boy and Kayce?

Mario and...whatever her name is?

Jesse and...whatever HER name is?

Justin and Laura?

Court and...wait...nevermind...

Jason and Tammy?

Scott and...I think her name is Emily...?

What is this world coming to? I might have to stick with Sexy. He hasnt let me down yet.

Tuesday, November 01, 2005

Ive Always Wanted To Be

There is always that one mom, friend or reasonable facimile, that is quite near perfect.

Ive always wanted to be that. Not perfect, just near it.

Ive always wanted to be the friend that just knows what everyone needs and when they need it. That knows everyones favorite treat and can just give it to them and take them sluffing whenever she can tell they need it. But who, at the same time, will turn around and say "You shouldnt sluff your classes. Go!"

That brings the perfect balance, hence the "pretty near" stuff.

Ive always wanted to be the friend who has her cell phone on all night every night just in case someone needs to talk or runaway at 2am.

Ive always wanted to be the friend that leaves her back door unlocked in case you get thrown out of your house for some reason.

I AM that friend. My cell phone is always on. My door isnt usually unlocked but I generally wake up to tapping noises.

Someone....please....take advantage of my....here-ness.....

The Thing Is...

People are always telling me Im too young. Too young to stay out late, too young to go on a blind date, too young to be someones friend.

But, the thing is, Im 18. This is the age that everyone else could do all the stuff I want to at. So why not me? Why is that when youre the sixth child, no matter how old you get you are always too young? Why?

Im too young to be Marios friend.

No Im not. Five years is fine between friends.

Im too young to stay out past ten on school nights.

No Im not. My parents just want to go to bed early without waiting up for me.

Im too young to have my own key and come home when Im done.

No Im not. Megan and Shannon have both done it! Do I have to be over 21?

Im too young to go on a blind date.

No Im not. All my siblings went on blind dates all through high school! Ive graduated, Im 18, what more do they want?




The thing is....Im NOT too young.