Thursday, June 30, 2005

Just For The Asian

Remember a while ago how I was supposed to put that thing on your blog? I was supposed to comment a specific....thing.....I dont know how else to put it without just saying it.

Well my computer is retarded and wont let me comment on your blog so I am hoping you read this soon.

This is what I was going to say in my comment.....I hope you remember.....

"twinkle" twinkle little star......get it? good. Im glad we could have this little conversation. And I seriously hope no one else catches on! Now I will send you an email.....

*frolicks away....then realizes to email you must stay and the computer.....frolicks back*

Tuesday, June 28, 2005

Upset With Myself

Im upset with myself.

Everytime I do something, its not me. Its not how I wouldve reacted to the situation, so why do I do it? Why cant I ever show who I am? Why do I change for people?

Where did my personality go? Its gone....Its no longer with me....It hasnt been for a very long time.

I do things and I think about it and I am doing exactly what I find annoying about girls. Girls are stupid and complicated and they try and play these mind games and stupid little things mean something big to them and over all.....girls are just stupid.

I am stupid. I am not the girl people think I am. I am not the girl I think I am. My personality, went AWOL.........

Monday, June 27, 2005

dumb dumbness....again

Court is dumb....

Justin is dumb.....

Im upset......

Mary is cool......

Tammy is quiet.......

I feel retarded......

Wednesday, June 22, 2005

You know, a drink can be both a drink and a desssert at the same time.

(On the Arby's water cups)

Take our signature Jamocha Shake. Between bites it's a drink. After the meal, or on its own, it's a dessert. Way to go, Jamocha.

I'm thinking Arby's

Why wash your Arby's down with a cold beverage?

(On the milkshake cup)

You could try washing your sandwich down with another sandwich. But a sandwich could be hard to fit in a cup and even harder to sip through a straw.

I'm thinking Arby's

Did you ever wonder why we put these fries on top of the other food in the bag?

(This post comes from the box that Arby's curly fries come in)

Look, we know how much better these fries are made. We know that you know how much better these fries are made. So why on top? One word: Access!

I'm thinking Arby's

AOL Sounds

So I got onto my AOL settings and it asked me if I wanted to change my welcome, youve got mail, and goodbye sounds. I didnt know I could.

So I clicked on it and let me tell ya, there are all these celebrities saying different versions of those phrases! Soooooo funny!

Right now my sounds are from friends. My welcome is Joey going, "heeeeyyyy!" my youve got mail is Chandler going, "Well you couldnt have any more mail!" and my goodbye is Phoebe going, "oh g-goodbye!"

So funny when you hear them! duh! I almost did Hugh Grant because he freakin rocks, but his sounded kinda weird. Maybe its just the recording of it but it sounded slightly irratating.

He says "Youre looking lovely today" when you sign on. When you have mail he says "You have some....letters." and when you leave its "Au Revoir". The Au Revoir is what weirded me out the most.

Point being, if you have AOL go listen to those sounds. I highly recommend the ones by those three from Friends. (Those three are the only three from friends that they put on there for some reason.) and Hugh Grant, Han Solo and....I dunno. I guess thats it. But those three (or five for those of you that really care!) are so funny! Just go and listen to them....do it!

Monday, June 20, 2005

Justin

I know this kid. His name is Justin. Maybe some of you have heard of him.

He isnt perfect, but he tries to be. He tries so hard! Really he does! He tries to be the best. He HAS to be the best. I dont know quite why, and even if I did....Im not sure I would feel at liberty to say why.

He tries to be the best big brother ever. He is probably not, but hes definitely better than the one I had. I see it in him when he is with his little sister Nicole. I can see in his face that he loves her. He cares about her.

But then, he cares about everything. He just cares so much! Which is so good! Some of us have never had friends like him that just care! But, he does. He cares about anything and everything. I like that. It makes me feel wanted. I know I am wanted, its just that sometimes it doesnt feel that way, ya know?

He especially cares about knowledge. He MUST know everything. He must learn all he can about every possible subject. His friends, his family, cars, computers, news, anything! You name it and he probably knows a lot about it. And, if he doesnt, he really really really wants to learn.

He is such a good example for me. I dont know how it is possible to have so much....care....in one person! He just cares....thats all there is to it.

Saturday, June 18, 2005

Dillema

So I am sitting here faced with a very awkward dillema.

On the one hand there is Bob....he fits everything.

On the other hand there is Fred....he just knows things.

So who would you pick? Go ahead and ask questions about either party....I just wont tell you their names. And another thing...neither of them like me so at this point it doesnt really matter, does it?

Wednesday, June 15, 2005

1:25 am

So here I sit at 1:25am wishing my body wouldve let me go to sleep when it had the chance 45 minutes ago. I got home from Natalis party around 11:30-11:45 because Court is slow. I wasnt tired when I got home so I cleaned the bathroom, cleaned my room, ran a load of dishes and ran a load of laundry. Yes in one hour! Then I started to watch tv for a few minutes, but as Ive always known, there is nothing of worth to watch at this time of night.

Well, TBS was playing The Three Fugitives, with Martin Short and Nick Nolte (which by the way is a really good movie) I just wasnt in the mood to wacth it. So, about 12:45 I attempted sleep, but I think because of everything that is happening tomorrow and all the guilt I feel about dumb things I couldnt sleep. Even after talking to my Daddy.

So, here I go blogging about everything that was on my mind as I lay in my bed for about 30 minutes wishing I could sleep: (yes its in a list! *shakes whole arm*)

*Justin/emptiness....this only makes sense to the few who know
*Where will I live?
*Should I take the telemarketing job that Court says pays $10 something an hour?!?
*Should I keep looking for a job elsewhere?
*Should I really be the one to tell Cole that Justine doesnt want a relationship right now?
*What is with Justine not wanting a relationship until she finds someone worth marrying?
*Why am I no longer friends with my totally awesome friends like Button, Boobies, Brittany, Jaimie (or however you spell it, I forgot....dont hate me! I love you!), Shmoo, Jenesse, and everyone else I have not seen or talked to since graduation!
*I sure am glad that in exchange for being late EVERY night I can just clean for a while when my parents get home and they dont really care.
*I am hecka-freakin glad that they listened to me when I left them a messege saying I would be home late so they could lock up and go to sleep cause my bedroom door was unlocked! (they have been so much more easy to deal with since graduation!)
*I cheated to graduate....long story....but I shouldnt have really graduated!
*I feel so guilty about gossipping earlier today....Bobby made me feel bad about what I told Justine.....
*Why dont I have cool friends any more that visit me at 2am because they know the back door to my bedroom is ALWAYS open and waiting for them?!?! Shmoo!!!!! Where are you?!?!?! I miss that.....*sniff, sniff*
*Is Court actually starting to like ME?!?!? Whoda thought!!!! He was flirting way more than usual with me tonight....is he actually rebounding this much?!?!? holy cow!!!!! (this whole subject sends my mind reeling with different possibilities to an answer to this, apparently deep, question!)
*Why DOES Justin send me more emails than he claims to send other friends he has? Especially since most of his to me include some sort of messege like "Goodnight Brynnie" (yes Brynnie! I like it!) or "Wake up Brynnie! Its time to wake up!"....It sounds like he likes me, he acts like he likes me....he SAYS he likes Justine? Is anyone else confused?

and the biggest most horrifyingly scary and guiltifying....yes....guiltifying.....one of all:

*I havent called Matt Covington all summer! I promised him I would! I am supposed to go on a date with him tomorrow night to the midnight showing of Batman....I dont know about this...Should I call him? Should I not and blame it on him for not calling me since graduation? Oh I feel bad about this one! No questions asked!

Ok thats about it for now....thanks for reading....goodnight all! (I hope....)

Tuesday, June 14, 2005

Isn't Ironic?

So I was sitting here thinking about what I am about to post, as my computer slowly loads the website and as I think about the topic....one song comes to mind.....

An old man turned ninety-eight
He won the lottery and died the next day
It's a black fly in your Chardonnay
It's a death row pardon two minutes too late
Isn't it ironic... don't you think

(chorus)
It's like rain on your wedding day
It's a free ride when you've already paid
It's the good advice that you just didn't take
And who would've thought it figures

Mr. Play It Safe was afraid to fly
He packed his suitcase and kissed his kids good-bye
He waited his whole d*** life to take that flight
And as the plane crashed down he thought
"Well, isn't this nice."
And isn't it ironic ... don't you think

It's like rain on your wedding day
It's a free ride when you've already paid
It's the good advice that you just didn't take
And who would've thought it figures

Well life has a funny way of sneaking up on you
When you think everything's okay and everything's going right
And life has a funny way of helping you out when
You think everything's gone wrong and everything blows up
In your face

A traffic jam when you're already late
A no-smoking sign on your cigarette break
It's like 10,000 spoons when all you need is a knife
It's meeting the man of my dreams
And then meeting his beautiful wife
And isn't it ironic... don't you think
A little too ironic.. and yeah I really do think...

It's like rain on your wedding day
It's a free ride when you've already paid
It's the good advice that you just didn't take
And who would've thought it figures

Well life has a funny way of sneaking up on you
And life has a funny, funny way of helping you out
Helping you out
Helping you out

Anyways, the topic here is the guy I like....if any of you read the post call "its ok, my Daddy was with me" then you know I am speaking of Justin Karoly. Or maybe you just knew that it was Justin. "Objection! Irrelevancey!" " Granted." Sorry....Im spazzy. I know.

The point I am trying to make here, is that I did something on Saturday that changed my whole outlook on life. No, it was not telling Justin that I like him, it was actually riding some stupid ride at Summer Fest called the Zipper. And, by the bye, I hated that ride and I am never going to Lagoon! EVER!!!!!! Anyways, after that ride I have stopped caring about everything. Literally.

I dont care about my curfews, my parents, my friends hormonal issues, or my own hormonal issues! Plus, I talked it over with my Daddy and we have decided that indeed I do not like him any more. I am back to liking no one. Well I still kinda like two guys, but since I never see them any more, that should die quickly....

Sunday, June 12, 2005

My Daddy....READ THIS ONE FIRST

READ THIS POST BEFORE READING THE ONE ENTITLED "It was ok, My Daddy was there"

So, I after I blogged the last one, I felt like I should probably explain about my Daddy. See, when I think back to my childhood, I dont have very many memories of either of my parents. More like my oldest sister, besides Lisa, was just a live-in babysitter. I have more memories of my Mom than my Dad, but still. Theres not that many of either.

A couple of weeks ago, give or take, I decided that I needed to get closer to Heavenly Father. I had always heard stories of how you could just tell him about your day and it would work just like talking to your earthly parents. Well, I didnt want to have the same kind of relationship with Him that I do with my parents since there isnt much of one at all. So, those lessons never really interested me. Plus, I figured....why tell him about your day? He was there too!

That was how I thought until a couple of weeks ago. Thats when I decided that after my nightly prayers I would just get into my bed, turn out the lights and talk to my Daddy. I started calling him Dad and Daddy. I tell him who I like, who likes who, who Im mad at. I tell him everything! I have never had such a close relationship to Him! I wont say its the closest relationship Ive ever had but its definitely gaining on the number one! It grows so much every time I talk to him. Since that decision everything has been so much easier!

My life has been notably different all because I finally decided I wanted a Father. I had no idea it was that easy! I woulda done this long ago if I had only known!

I just thought you all should know, I have a Daddy....and he loves me. And he is there holding my hand, or my heart as the case may be, whenever I need him to! Thanks for listening....or....reading......or whatever!

It was ok, my Dad was there with me.

So last night, after a very weird/strange/awkward day.....Justin, Court, Nicole and I all went to the park on 2000 south. We swung on some swings for a while. It was about 11:30pm. At first it was Nicole and I on one side of the swings and Court and Justin on the other. Then Justin decided he didnt like that arrangement and made Nicole go swing with Court.

We started talking about how he likes Justine and right now he's confused. (I know, I know, Justin and Justine! I laugh at it too!) Anyways, I was trying to give him advice, but I just am the wrong person to ask.

I dont know what Cole and Justin are thinking. Or Justine! They should all realize that I am the center of all of their relationships! Its not THEIR relationships! Its me having a relationship with myself two different ways! Dumb! I tell Cole and Justin (seperately mind you) how to impress Justine....I tell Justine how to respond....why cant they do anything on their own? Why must they have my help? Dont they know I am only saying what I would like boys to do for me? Or how I would respond if a boy did things like that to me? I dont think they get it.

Well anyway, back to my story. We were discussing this whole situation, Justin and I, and finally he said, "Who do you like?" There we go! The pivital (is that how you spell pivital? hm) moment. I promised myself I would tell him if he ever asked and here is, asking me. I told him I like three guys. I do! I like...well...the first two arent important....I didnt tell him the third.

And, just as I was building up the courage to tell him what I promised myself I would tell him, he just looks at me and says, "Its ok. You dont have to tell me the other one." He always moves and speaks to me in a way I have always wished some guy would. He knows everything. He says things I wish some of my regular friends would say. Like this next thing, after that we talked about Justine a little more. Then there was silence for a while as we both pondered our whole computer. (Computers, for those of you who dont know, are private conversations. It started out calling them PC's but then changed to Computer because we are all so childish I suppose) After a few moments of total silence he said (and this is what I meant, one of the things he says to me a lot that I wish more people did.) "What are you thinking about right now?"

I smiled and said, "Actually, Im glad you asked...." We walked away from the swings a bit and I told him...."Ya know. I told you I get embarrassed easily and it could be that I am running on two hours of sleep, but right now I just dont care any more. So, the third guy....its you." I turned and walked back to the swings..."Brynnie!" Came the call from behind me. I had to smile...I had to....No one besides my parents have ever called me Brynnie....maybe some aunts , uncles and or cousins, but never anyone outside of my family. I loved it. "Brynnie Dalton" he said again...."Why are you running away from me?" As I continued toward the swings and got on I said "because that was really all I had to say on the matter." I replied. "wow! You really ARE in the middle of this whole thing arent you?" he said. We both began swinging again. "Brynnie...." he says kinda quietly...."Can I tell you something?" "sure" I said. "I knew. I knew before you told me." "You knew?" I said "I figured you did." "You did? hmm!"

At this point I think Court got really bored....Or at some point earlier, Im not quite sure, because he began walking around the pond alone and he left Nicole swinging alone. Justin suddenly ran off to join Court in a short walk around the pond. So Nicole and I began walking the other way around the pond, and we just talked about lots of things. I told her that I had told her brother that I like him. That was about it.

I am ok though. The last time I told someone that was with JT I dont know if any of you ever heard that story, but it turned out way worse. This one was ok. I had been praying about it and just plain talking to my Dad about it and so he was there. I know he was there. I felt him. Like he was holding my hand....or better yet....my heart. He held it in his great big Daddy hand so it wouldnt break if Justin had said anything rejecting.

I think he was there with Justin too. I think he told Justin how to respond. I think he knew that since Justin likes Justine, the second best response would be if he called me one of the two things Ive always wanted to be called by a guy I like.

My Daddy knows. He loves me. He was there. I love my Daddy. Theres no better Daddy in the whole world!